Tag Archives: danger

How Much of Desire is Really about Danger?

Okay, I’m not going to embed the infamous video of Moe and Tracie from Jezebel drunkenly disclaiming on pulling out as viable birth control, unwanted pregnancy, and how it’s okay to be reckless in Williamsburg because the guys there are pussies, but I will link to it.  

Because I think it’s relevant to this conversation we’re having about sluttiness and regret: how much of sexual adventure is about knowingly putting yourself in danger?

I’m thinking: some.

That sure-I-was-raped-so-what video sparked an uproar about third-wave ladies having reckless, unprotected, casual sex and getting date-raped and not thinking it was such a big deal. 

Of course it delighted the stereotypical-second-wave finger-waggers, who finally had tape on this dubious trend they have been condemning. (*Cough* Linda Hirshman *cough*.) Continue reading

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The Sluttiness Question

"Slutty Hermione." I found this by image-searching "sluttiness question."

Kara, I totally thought your posts made total sense and were great! And I agree that this is worth talking about:

Do you regret being slutty in the 90s? Just kidding! I know you don’t. Wait, maybe not kidding. Whether or not we–and other 90swomen–regret the kinds of experiences that Flanagan seems to think we do or we should actually seems like a good subject.

I regret a lot of things in my life, but only a few have anything to do with sex. When it comes to ’90s sluttiness, for example, sometimes I slept with a guy who a friend really wanted, which was a shitty thing to do.

If I had it to do over, I wouldn’t have been so cavalier about those particular guys. (In one instance, my friend was doubly mad at me because I not only slept with the guy first, I also neglected to mention to her that he was terrible in bed. She had to find out on her own. Total ’90s sisterhood fail!)

But as far as whoring around? I wish now that I’d done it MORE. For me sex was tied up with adventure. I read a lot. I walked around the city. I traveled. Being enthusiastic about sex for me was part of being enthusiastic about new experiences of every kind. Not to be all Elizabeth Taylor-style dramatic, but having sex was about living LIFE.  Continue reading

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