Tag Archives: jessica valenti

Rebecca Traister is So Smart

Her nuanced essay on SlutWalks in today’s New York Times Magazine puts all the “she asked for it” editorializing on recent news stories into perspective. She puts the Walks in context and points out something that has dawned on many ’90s women this year while reading about Rape Cops, D.S.K., etc.: “There is still no way for women to tell stories of sexual injustice that allows them to bypass character assassination.” Continue reading

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The Sluttiness Question

"Slutty Hermione." I found this by image-searching "sluttiness question."

Kara, I totally thought your posts made total sense and were great! And I agree that this is worth talking about:

Do you regret being slutty in the 90s? Just kidding! I know you don’t. Wait, maybe not kidding. Whether or not we–and other 90swomen–regret the kinds of experiences that Flanagan seems to think we do or we should actually seems like a good subject.

I regret a lot of things in my life, but only a few have anything to do with sex. When it comes to ’90s sluttiness, for example, sometimes I slept with a guy who a friend really wanted, which was a shitty thing to do.

If I had it to do over, I wouldn’t have been so cavalier about those particular guys. (In one instance, my friend was doubly mad at me because I not only slept with the guy first, I also neglected to mention to her that he was terrible in bed. She had to find out on her own. Total ’90s sisterhood fail!)

But as far as whoring around? I wish now that I’d done it MORE. For me sex was tied up with adventure. I read a lot. I walked around the city. I traveled. Being enthusiastic about sex for me was part of being enthusiastic about new experiences of every kind. Not to be all Elizabeth Taylor-style dramatic, but having sex was about living LIFE.  Continue reading

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Why Was This Stuff So Scary?

I’m glad you brought up Marisa’s book, Kara, because it reminds me of a question I was left with after reading it: Why do some feminists make people SO MAD?

One effect of her conflating Riot Grrrl bands + Spice Girls is that you lose the distinction between women who everyone likes, whether or not they’re in power (they’re pretty! whatevs!) and women who scare the shit out of everyone, whether or not they’re wielding power. Continue reading

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