Tag Archives: sex

There Have So Been Books About Female Sexuality in the Past 35 Years

In a recent piece in The Guardian, “Feminism in the 21st Century,” Zoe Williams claims that no one has talked seriously about female sexuality since the ’70s: “The last person to make any serious noise about female sexuality was Shere Hite; that was nearly 35 years ago.”

This is a claim I see all the time, and it’s starting to make me feel like I’m delusional. Continue reading


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“Why Feminism is the Anti-Viagra”

OMFG, THAT IS A REAL TITLE FROM THIS MONTH’S PSYCHOLOGY TODAY. Here’s the article, and the premise: “Gender equality inhibits arousal.” Among the experts quoted for this piece: a romance novelist.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the gist of this piece is that if you believe in equal pay for equal work, you are really going against nature’s plan, which is for men to be dominant and women to be submissive in bed. Also: if you are a feminist you will never have an orgasm because of, you know, wiring and science and stuff. Never mind that the actual point of feminism with regard to sexuality is to increase knowledge. That shouldn’t be a turn-off unless what gets you off is total ignorance.

How is it that magazine articles and books still think it’s okay to conflate what we may like sexually with what we like in our upright lives? Continue reading

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Testimony: Alix Boraks

Alix Boraks, charming author of the sex blog Milkshake and Honey, wrote in with this testimony about the ’90s and sexuality:

Full disclosure: I was born in 1991.  My firsthand experience of the ‘90s was confined to not understanding what Alanis was so upset about, trying on my cousin’s combat boots, and attempting to peek when my mom covered my eyes during that episode of Growing Pains when Mike takes a life drawing class.  I missed out on the first round, but I still proudly identify as a ‘90s woman because of my heavily ‘90s adolescence. Continue reading

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The Mountain Goats, Indie Music’s ’90s-Woman-est Band

Mountain Goats, Bowery Ballroom, March 28, 2011

Writing for newspapers and magazines lo these last 15 or so years, I have interviewed many famous people, lots of them super hot. But to date, probably the swooniest I ever got was during a 2005 Q&A with the Mountain Goats.

John Darnielle praised feminism, pop music, and marriage. He said wise ’90s-womanly things like, on Andrea Dworkin:

She was really messed up in a lot of ways, but also brave enough to say, “Is it possible that the bedrock of our sexuality is essentially violent?” The simple answer is, “Of course not, because I enjoy myself. What’s not to like there?” Well it takes a big person to go, “Maybe we enjoy ourselves because we’re damaged.” Continue reading

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Happy 90210 Day! Donna Loses Her Virginity.

Not a huge 90210 viewer, I just educated myself on key moments via YouTube. This one, in which Donna loses her virginity,  blew my mind.

What is ’90s about this: thigh-highs! White lace! Teen sex! Hair dyed a little too dark for skin coloring! Condoms!!!

What is not ’90s about this: the concept of virginity as a “gift” to a man. Soap-opera candle-and-lingerie set-up. The ’90s were anti-romantic trappings, weren’t they? But I guess it was still prime-time TV, which always clings to the prior decade in its set design.


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A Professor Weighs in on The Antioch Rules

Just had to elevate this super-smart comment into a post. Also, this line cracked me up: “Instead of ruining the moment, it seemed to me that it enhanced it (Can I take off your shirt? You sure can!).”

OK, as someone who taught at Antioch College until it closed, and was involved with maintaining the SOPP (Sexual Offense Prevention Policy), I do have some knowledge of the policy and the campus.

BTWI think the unattached straight boys at Antioch would be thrilled to know that they were the target of so much lust…really, there were lots of straight boys there and although some were surely getting some action, not all were. Continue reading


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How Much of Desire is Really about Danger?

Okay, I’m not going to embed the infamous video of Moe and Tracie from Jezebel drunkenly disclaiming on pulling out as viable birth control, unwanted pregnancy, and how it’s okay to be reckless in Williamsburg because the guys there are pussies, but I will link to it.  

Because I think it’s relevant to this conversation we’re having about sluttiness and regret: how much of sexual adventure is about knowingly putting yourself in danger?

I’m thinking: some.

That sure-I-was-raped-so-what video sparked an uproar about third-wave ladies having reckless, unprotected, casual sex and getting date-raped and not thinking it was such a big deal. 

Of course it delighted the stereotypical-second-wave finger-waggers, who finally had tape on this dubious trend they have been condemning. (*Cough* Linda Hirshman *cough*.) Continue reading


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