Tag Archives: tavi

How ’90s Woman Is This Collection?

Tavi loves this Proenza Schouler Fall 2010 collection. She also likes Sassy magazine. Coincidence? We think not.

Thanks, Brendan, for the tip!

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Tavi’s Open Letter to 8th Grade Boys

Kara, thank you for directing me to this letter by the amazing prodigy fashion writer Tavi. It is the best. She has out-90swomaned 90swoman.

Dear eighth grade boys:

Stop making me feel like my body is my burden. Do I, or any other girls, find you to be attractive? Helllllll no. But we don’t stare at your bodies and then whisper to our friends! We are polite! I don’t know if this is because girls are told to keep quiet, or because we are totally over bullying, but whatever! You are assholes in many more ways, but I only have 8 more days of you! Then freshman year, you will maybe be a little more like real people, but not entirely, because you’ll want to make sure everyone knows how cool you are since it’s freshman year and there are all these new people! And by people, I mean chicks! For you to be rude to while making them feel like they’re lucky to have your rudeness bestowed upon them! And for you to grab their ass, and then make them feel like that’s supposed to be a compliment! Sexual harassment/assault is totally flattering! It means you like her! But not really, because you don’t like her enough to respect her space and comfort, you just like her body! And that one time I told one of you to not grab girls’ asses, you had all your friends come up to me throughout the day to tell me how mean I was to embarrass you! Also you all have AWFUL B.O., and AXE smells like shit, and Family Guy isn’t funny, and not showering isn’t a way to make a political statement, and FUUUUUUUU

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More on the Sluttiness Question

Tracey Emin Says Everything Best

Ada, I read your post first thing this morning and these lines about your personal 90s sluttiness really made me want to cheer:

But as far as whoring around? I wish now that I’d done it MORE. For me sex was tied up with adventure.

Your words reminded me of this poem, “Drowning in Flowers,” by Rita Dove, I’ve loved since college, which gets at one of the major reasons that girls have sex that no one ever talks about: CURIOSITY.

So I was thinking about that, and my own lack of regret for my own 90s sluttiness, when I was looking at Marisa’s Tumblr and saw that she reblogged Lesley’s dating advice column. And it struck me that we should stop telling girls to not have sex, since sex doesn’t seem to be the real problem. Instead, we should tell them to follow Lesley’s advice, which is:

Let’s do what we want and go for what we want, and if it doesn’t work out, let’s promise ourselves we won’t take it for personal. Most of the time rejection is protection.

Totally, right?! I was thinking about how this is basically the ultimate truth of dating life, and we should just tell this to as many teenage girls as we can, as I started clicking on links to some of Lesley’s other dating advice columns. And I came to one in which she admits:

For me, I cannot have casual sex. I can lie to myself and think “Whatever! Who cares?” but before you know it, I’m shame spiraling in fetal posish, and newsflash: I CARE.

And my celebration ended.

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